Posts by Sail Away

37

Elders harassing me

by raven in

hi everyone, it has been a while since i've last updated!

(refer to my previous posts for the full story) here is a quick re-cap: 2 months ago my mother found out that i am living with my boyfriend, she told me i was discovered by an "anonymous" tipper who turned me in for "living in sin".. first of all, that is nearly impossible, the congregation i was in is 100's of miles away from where i currently live.. no one would have ever known i was living with my boyfriend unless i told them, which i never did, i cut off all communication with that congregation in part of my attempted fade which was blown into pieces and discovered.. anyways, my mom tells me if i don't go to the elders and confess like a good little sheep, then she is obligated to tell them.. ( don't see why, i don't even live under her roof ) well i never went to them because why should i?

so they met with my mother and she told them i live with my boyfriend... let me remind you, this was two months ago.. i was told i was going to be df'd and that was that.

Sail Away

Raven, I'm so sorry you are being harassed and subjected to emotional blackmail. This is the letter my attorney mailed to the elder bodies of the two congregations I formerly attended locally. I modified a letter from this site to suit my situation. I didn't want to disassociate (play by their rules), nor did I want to deal with the repercussions of living in a small town as disfellowshipped.

They did not announce anything from the platform. Local dubs still make small talk when we cross paths. Of course, there is pre-emptive shunning going on, since I'm seen as "inactive" and "spiritually weak", so no one initiates contact with me. I expected that. At least I don't have to deal with public shunning. I just smile and ignore the pleas to "return to Jehovah".

Thankfully, I haven't run into any of the dozen or so elders I threatened to sue. When I was still in, the majority of elders were imported from other territories to "assist" the congregation, so they don't live nearby. Small town rural New England with no real employment opportunities and high property values doesn't attract the typical JW family.

Maybe if they don't announce your name your mother won't shun you. Only time will tell. Because your mom is taking this to the elders, it may be too late, especially after she attends to this year's R.C.

My attorney was so flabbergasted that this goes on that he sent the letters pro bono.

Wishing you happiness and freedom,

Diane

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/436340001/matter-conscience-am-resigning-from-christian-congregation-jehovahs-witnesses

Edit to add: Sorry, I see that you just posted that your mom is already shunning you!

38

My son is coming home to me soon. Yey!!!

by KateWild in

my son sent me a wonderful song a month ago on this thread.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5704271907520512/my-wonderful-son.

it's amazing how a bad experience can trigger action.

Sail Away

Fantastic news! It will be a beautiful day when your son comes home to live with you. Until then, savor these precious moments.

25

My daughter graduated Bachelor of Arts with First Class Honours yesterday.

by Xanthippe in

.

Sail Away

Congratulations to you and your daughter! I know you are so proud of her!

I raised my kids as JWs, but I always knew I would support whatever path they chose in life, including getting a college education. I still regret declining college scholarships and going to "pioneer where the need is great".

I hope you have a big celebration!

17

Happy Birthday smiddy

by smiddy in

and a happy birthday to anybody else who born on the 5/7 month.

smiddy.

Sail Away

Happy birthday Smiddy! My birthday is July 5th too! My friend gave me my first ever birthday cake today at age 58!

43

At a regional convention today....

by Nobodyspecial in

jw
friends

it really stands out to me just how phoney the bonds of forced brotherhood are.

the smiles are paper thin when they see each other in hotels.

the laughs forced.

Sail Away

So true. During my last years in, the "cult-approved lifestyle" lead to severe-recurrent clinical depression, panic attacks and loneliness surrounded by "friends".

47

The 1975 Generation---are they still around?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i was raised as a jw and 1975 expectations were pretty intense.

as i recall, most people did not leave after the failed expectations but many s l o w e d down.

now, i think most of the 1975 witnesses are gone or barely in.. is the older generation still around in the kingdom halls or are they much gone?.

Sail Away

My in-laws are in their early 90's and are still in. Their son (Bethelite in mid-70's), DIL (me, 16 in 1975) and their grandchildren (raised in) are all out. Their great grandson was brought free of the cult. They will never meet him, as they are in shunning mode.

135

I've been found out!

by pale.emperor in

well, thats it folks.. my identity on here has been rumbled and reported to the elders.

someone, somehow, has figured out that im a member of this site and - rather than speak to me - has promptly reported me to the elders.

i just feel sad for my daughter.

Sail Away

As for my wifes family... well coincidentally they've invited my wife round. She's told me she's staying there tonight with my daughter. To be honest i could do with the head space. I know what comes next, daddy elder will fill her head with bullshit.

"Coincidentally"??? I think not. This concerns me deeply. Alarms bells are going off! Your wife and child need to be with you!

20

Differences Between Ex-JWs

by David_Jay in

we are not all the same--a real "duh, david!

so i figured if i didn't feel that sense of solidarity that seems missing among the debating, then i was part of the problem.

i'm responsible for making this place feel like a support and place of solidarity, just as much as anyone else.. but approaches i tried didn't work until i shut up for a while.

Sail Away

Terry Walstrom-- Suffering, panic, loss are profoundly subjective experiences. How we cope and adapt and what we become in the long run as a result, may well be a measure of our character more than our trauma.

Terry, as someone with PTSD, I would substitute the word resilience for character.

I do agree with this statement:

Terry Walstrom-- It is only us here. Now.
The path we take is of our own making. The same brain-machine inside our skull which caused us to fall victim to the cult is STILL THERE. Unless we replace the parts, one by one, we surely end up in the same place again, and again, an again with different labels attached to the same delusion.

Phizzy-- I was a lover of truth, still am, and left because there simply is no truth in the JW "religion". Not truth in the real sense of the word.
I am not bitter, I do regret that I did not wake up much earlier in life and so make better life choices, but what happened, happened.

Phizzy, this was and is my experience. I had long-standing doctrinal issues that were compounded by the very real pain of recognizing the hypocrisy present in the religion I chose for myself as a pre-teen. I simply wanted to do what was right and to please God. I was a true believer, and I was a sincere student of the Bible to the extent that my level of education allowed. I wanted to help people, and most of all I wanted the stable, happy family life that JWs promised. I was misguided. When the organization nearly destroyed my family I was done. There is a fair amount of regret that I imposed this pain on myself, my marriage and my children.

I find this statement to be more than a little judgmental and harsh:

Phizzy-- When I left, I set out to educate myself, so studied Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Theory etc etc, all as an "armchair scholar".
I was astounded that other ex-JW's did not do this, and came on Sites like this and displayed their appalling ignorance, and their prejudices.
But I was known as a "studious type", I guess such people are still as lazy now as when they were JW's, not finding anything out for themselves, not reading, not even thinking !
This is sad, the freedom one gets by walking away from a High Control Cult like the JWs should not be wasted by wallowing in ignorance.

Everyone’s path out is different. I do not consider myself lazy or to be wallowing in ignorance. I refuse to let choices I made as a pre-teen and teen continue to absorb the little time I have left on this planet. I did an intensive examination of my beliefs after I walked away—not to justify my leaving, but to answer the question: Just what do I believe to be true now? The answers I came up with are for another thread. What I decided in the end was I am not interested in studying Philosophy, History, the Bible, Evolutionary Therory, etc. I am interested in enjoying the freedom I have, loving my family and developing skills and talents that I was not able to during those lost years.

Great Post David Jay!

Diane

21

For Dog Lovers-- Meet Stanley!

by Sail Away in

have you ever had a dog that was dumber than a box of rocks?

i have; his name was dave matthews.

we loved him anyway.

Sail Away

rebelfighter, my little girl refuses to go out in the rain; it messes up her beautiful curls!

Nathan Natas, I agree that Stanley was likely abused or neglected as a pup. He is not my dog. I just wanted to share his story because it made me laugh and warmed my heart. Every single one of my rescue dgs and cats had behavioral issues and quirks. It is understandable since they were likely abused or abandonned. Dogs thrive on love and are bonded to their family.

can'tleave, Cookie looks so full of joy! Rescue animals can bring us so much happiness. It's worth embracing their quirks.

67

EdenOne, Mrs. Eden & Son: DISASSOCIATED!

by EdenOne in

great news!.

we are free!.

as of the 9th of june, me and my dear wife mrs. eden handed over our letters of disassociation at bethel in portugal, thus making official our departure from the jehovah's witnesses.

Sail Away

Enjoy your freedom! So glad your family is out too!